Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jessica's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
4:18 pm	inspiration Alice just informed me that Brian posted a voice post and so I went to listen to it and have now decided that its time I started keeping this livejournal again. So I'm in Herndon and I love it. I have a sub tomorrow because I'm going to the After Eve Conference at McLean Bible Church. It's going to be amazing I hope. Audra's coming up for it today, which is great. Last night I went to watch the Watoto Children's Choir perform at Providence and I cried the entire time. It's made up of orphans from Uganda, who's parents all died from AIDS. They were all filled with such JOY and they all had testimonies about how the Lord brought them out of the darkness. It was amazing. Driving home last night I felt very free, but I'm not sure why. It's strange to be at peace with life these days... since I was so NOT at peace for the last couple years. It's strange to be able to say, "No, I don't have everything I want, but I'm totally okay with that." It's strange to be able to say, "I'm going to wait for God's promises to become real to my life, but even if they don't, He's still God anyway." It's strange, but good. Life is pretty good Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: me and charlie talkin' (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 27th, 2006
10:36 am	"You're a glitter hat... and he's not a glitter hat. But one day, you're going to meet someone who's a glitter hat too. And then you're going to realize how cool glitter is." - my mom, on my love life (or lack there of) Current Mood: content Current Music: dancing with myself - billy idol (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
11:03 pm	Tonite at Journey I had a revelation and I thought I would share. So today I ran around frantically trying to get everything I need to get done for my thesis done. Today was the last day to register for classes and I had still not registered for my thesis, which is a problem considering that I want to to finish it by May... or maybe August. Anyway, I ran around, freaking out, but eventually it worked out because Dr. Lund and Dr. Brock are awesome. They helped me out a lot and I'm sure bent some rules in the process. Technically I should have had my proposal turned in before I got into the thesis class, but Dr. Brock says that as long as I have it in asap I'll be okay. Tonite at Journey Gil was talking about how much God loves us. God loves us to much that he made a way that we, as sinners, can be HOLY. He loves us so much that he BENT THE RULES FOR US and sent Jesus to die so that we could get in to heaven on his goodness. That fact has always been amazing and life changing to me, but tonite it hit me on a really personal level. It's so easy for me to accept the "love" of my professors. It makes me feel really good that they are willing to bend some rules to help me get registered for my thesis. How much more good should I feel knowing that GOD... I mean... GOD was like "well Jessica, you're technically a sinner, but I'm gonna love you like you're perfect because you believe in Jesus." OH MY GOSH! So basically it's weird because I've always been so thankful for the gift of Christ, but tonite I feel like extra thankful because God allowed me to see the gift on a much more accessible level. I was really stressed out about this thesis stuff, but God used it to teach me an awesome lesson of his love and grace and general awesomeness. Also, here is a verse (or group of verses) that I feel is (are) really powerful right now. Pray about it and enjoy :) **So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the special blessings that will come to you at the return of Jesus Christ. Obey God because you are his children. Don't slip back into your old ways of doing evil; you didn't know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God--who chose you to be his children--is holy. For he himself has said, "You must be holy because I am holy." And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites when he judges. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your time as foreigners here on earth. For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. He paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him for this purpose long before the world began, but now in these final days, he was sent to the earth for all to see. And he did this for you. Through Christ you have come to trust in God. And because God raised Christ from the dead and gave him great glory, your faith and hope can be placed confidently in God. Now you can have sincere love for each other as brothers and sisters because you were cleansed from your sins when you accepted the truth of the Good News. So see to it that you really do love each other intensely with all your hearts. For you have been born again. Your new life did not come from your earthly parents because the life they gave you will end in death. But this new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God** - 1 Peter 1: 13-23 (new living translation) Current Mood: JOYful Current Music: More- Matthew West (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
9:32 pm	more of the break top 10... what an amazing break it's been! - Locks of Love with Perry, the best hairdresser ever - World Missions Summit (!!!) - Lipglossing with Leslie - Shamrock cookies - knowing more about the Bears than Kevin NEW YORK - Mamma Mia! - curling iron love with my bff - David's bday party at the cluuub - getting accosted in the shoe store by a drunk man - chocolate chip pancakes - Sex and the City tour! - sleeping subway man - the hotel bouncer - advil cold and sinus - our break dancing subway boyfriends - Annie = automatic asshole, Jessica = president! - finger on nose - shoes - crazy roommate drama - magnolia cupcakes and sex shops! - evite drama - no yellow hats Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: wasting my life - the hippos (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
9:08 pm	top ten I've decided to make a list of my top ten awesomest Christmas break moments. So far it goes like this (they aren't numbered yet because I won't know how to rate them until I get all 10)... - Christmas in the Country: David Rosie asking me if I was married yet and commenting on my camo shirt - Christmas in the Country: Geoph getting into an accident with "The Night Train" - Last night in DC: Kelly, Kevin, and me getting our picture taken in front of the Foggy Bottom Metro station while pointing to Kevin's bottom - Tonight after dinner with the Wrights: my dad telling a gross joke, me not laughing and then him saying "well, if my daughter the Christian doesn't like it we know it must be good." I need six more awesomest Christmas break moments which is do-able considering there's still like a month left of break. Plus, New York with Annie is sure to bring some serious awesomeness. It might have to have its own separate list. Current Music: rem- itstheendoftheworldasweknowit(andifeelfine) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
7:09 pm	oh dear So, my parents both got new cell phones, which is funny, but also kind of disappointing because they both got the phone that I wanted to get and now I don't know if I want it anymore since it's kind of lame to have a cell phone that matches the cell phones of both of your parents. It's funny though because my mom's ring is the "Latin" ring that kind of sounds like the Sex in the City theme song and my dad's ring is the theme song to "The Lone Ranger." They are obsessed with their phones even though neither of them can figure out how to work them. Parents. Lately I have been really depressed and confused about my life. I kind of want to throw up a little in my mouth when I think about going back to school next semester... or not going back to school next semester... or you know, living. Even so, I know that eventually I will get out of this weird transition time of suckiness and will be happy. God promised. Also, I've been reading Elisabeth Elliot's book, "Let Me Be a Woman" and there is this one part in the beginning when she's talking about how a jellyfish glorifies the Lord just by being a jellyfish because that's what it was put on earth to do. She writes, "by being a jellyfish the jellyfish glorifies its creator, for by being a jellyfish it fulfills its Creator's command." I need to glorify God by being myself because he made me who he wants me to be. I like it. Here is a quote I also like: "Pride is faith in the idea that God had when he made us. A proud man is conscious of the idea, and aspires to realize it. He does not strive towards a happiness, or comfort, which may be irrelevant to God's idea of him. His success is the idea of God, successfully carried through, and he is in love with his destiny." - Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa Pretty much my new philosophy on life is going to have to be this... (Drama-)Free Love. (Drama-)Free Jesus. The End. Current Mood: curious Current Music: fountains of wayne - stacy's mom (has got it goin on) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 19th, 2005
4:05 pm	**Any message which makes the Cross redundant is anti-Christian. The original sin, pride, is behind my "poor self-image," for I felt that I deserved better than I got, which is exactly what Eve felt! So it was pride, not poor self-image, that had to go. If I'm so beautiful and lovable, what was Jesus doing up there, nailed to the cross and crowned with thorns? Why all that hideous suffering for the pure Son of God? Here's why: There was no other way to deliver us from the hell of our own proud self-loving selves, no other way out of the bondage of self-pity and self-congratulation. How shall we take our stand beneath the cross of Jesus and continue to love the selves that put Him there? How can we survey the wondrous cross and at the same time feed our pride? No. It won't work. Jesus put it simply: If you want to be My disciple, you must leave self behind, take up the cross, and follow Me. George MacDonald writes, "Right gladly would He free them from their misery, but He knows only one way: He will teach them to be like Himself, meek and lowly, bearing with gladness the yoke of His Father's will. This is the one, the only right, the only possible way of freeing them from their sin, the cause of their unrest." ** -Elisabeth Elliot How is it possible, that after 12 years I STILL can't accept this? Sometimes I think I need a miracle and a whole lot of love. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 30th, 2005
9:06 pm	Okay, so I know that I have so much reading to do, but it can wait 15 more minutes. This week was ridiculous. Tuesday Gil told me I looked like God "wrecked" me. He did. I definitely have a lot of things to think about before next year. I told God Yes.... which means that I will stay and do the Chi Alpha internship unless he tells me other wise. I feel like the most important thing was that I said yes though. And now that I've said yes he's going to show me more and more what he wants me to do. If I stay here next year it will be really really hard, and at first I thought that because it was going to be so hard that's what I was supposed to do, but for whatever reason, after this weekend I'm not quite sure if that's right. I want to care, but I really don't. I know it's going to be fine whatever happens and it's cool to have this kind of peace. I hope it lasts for at least a little while. This weekend was out of control. I carved a nerdy pumpkin... complete with acne and snot, helped Gil and Lindsay move into their new house, got the CRAP scared out of me at Scary Woods, got lost in the Scary Woods, made a new friend, went to a big party in my apt, got attacked by ninjas (three to be exact), AND watched American Gothic. If you haven't seen the movie American Gothic you should go out and rent it right away. It's this really insane horror movie from the 80's. It's INSAAAAAAAAANE and hilarious and glorious. Watch it, love it, memorize the whole thing and then tell others :) Ever since Thursday at small group God has been telling me to go back to the basics. The basics about how Christ died for our sins, how Christianity is based on LOVE, etc. Jon basically presented the gospel at bible buddies and the speaker at IV on Friday spoke about love (my FAVORITE topic). Then at church today Pastor Rick gave his testimony, which is pretty much as basic as it gets. We also sang "Heart of Worship"... and it made me think about why God wants me to "come back to the heart of worship" in the first place. It seems like he just wants me to relax and remember what's important. I'm forgiven and free and that's enough for now... and it makes life a lot simpler. I kind of like it :) I'm really excited about life all of a sudden, which is completely illogical considering all the work I have to do and the fact that I still have no idea what's going on. I'm still listening though... and there's something awesome about that. ps: Hilary, I downloaded some of the songs from SAVED... I don't know if you have itunes, but if you do, download these songs... Flowers in the Window... by... Travis (this is the one from the end in the hospital with the baby) In This Life... by... Chantal Kreviazuk (this is when she curses at the cross... my fave scene!) Wanderlust... by... Carla Werner (this is when she gets the valentine from patrick) **I tried to find the one when they're trying on all the clothes, but I couldn't. I found the one when they're all like going their separate ways, and like Cassandra's looking for Roland, but you could only download it if you bought the entire "L-Word" soundtrack and I don't have that kind of cash :) Love you! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
1:53 pm	I would like to say... that life is good. Also, I bought new deodorant and I really like it. It's Dove... baby powder scent. It makes me feel really girly. Also, this weekend was weird. It was a weekend of discoveries and new beginnings I believe. I could be wrong... but I don't think I am. I let a lot go last week, and over fall break. I realized that some things are just out of my control. I'm excited to see what happens this week... I have a feeling it's going to be life changing, which could mean a lot of things. I'm realizing that my life, at this point, could really go in two different directions and I think that this week is going to be the determining factor in the direction it goes. I'm not sure if I really care which direction it goes though. Like, I think I care out of habit, but when I actually step out of myself for a second I realize that either way it's going to be fine and really, I'm sick of being so obsessed with myself. Today at church pastor Rick said that that in order to change our world God has to change us. I know there are a lot of things God has already changed in my life, but there's still more I think. I'm not worried about it though because I think that the changes from here on out (at least for a while) are going to be fun ones... as opposed to the ridiculously hard ones that have filled the first half of this semester :) I feel, in a way, like God is giving me a break... and I like it... a lot. So, to sum up, I hope this week is amazing and I will let you know if it is... or isn't, Dove deodorant will make your life better if you let it, and I'm ready for a fun change. Oh yeah, also, on Tuesday I'm meeting with some Chi Alpha big whig... she's the one who would decide whether or not I get to do the internship if I decide to apply for it. I'm excited about meeting her and hearing what she has to say and getting closer to understanding what in the WORLD I'll be doing next year. Wish me luck :) Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: still listening - third day (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 7th, 2005
8:56 am	One day I'm going to accept this... Elisabeth Elliot's Daily Devotion: "...If the Word of the Lord to us is that we are "predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with his purpose" (Ephesians 1:11, NIV), we may apprehend this fact by faith alone. By believing that God means just what He says, and by acting upon the word (faith always requires action), we apprehend it--we take hold of it, we make it our own. We cannot make it our own by mere reason--"I don't see how such-and-such an incident can possibly have anything to do with any divine 'plan.'" Why should we see how! Is it not sufficient that we are told that it is so? We need not see. We need only believe and proceed on the basis of that assured fact. Mary's acceptance of the angel's answer to her innocent question was immediate, though she could not imagine the intricacies and mysteries of its working in her young virgin body. She surrendered herself utterly to God in trust and obedience. Do you understand what is going on in the invisible realm of your life with God? Do you see how the visible things relate to the hidden Plan and Purpose? Probably not. As my second husband Addison Leitch used to say, "You can't unscrew the Inscrutable." But you do see at least one thing, maybe a very little thing, that He wants you to do. "Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult [other translations say too hard, too wonderful] for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven.... nor is it beyond the sea.... no, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it" (Deuteronomy 30:11-14, NIV). Let it suffice you, as it sufficed Mary, to know that God knows. If it's time to work, get on with your job. If it's time to go to bed, go to sleep in peace. Let the Lord of the Universe do the worrying." My problem is that I can't even figure out what the Lord's asking me to do. BUT, I read Deuteronomy 30 and this is what I got... 1 When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the LORD your God disperses you among the nations, 2 and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, 3 then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes [a] and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. 11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it. 15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. 19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. So, I guess today the "one thing" I should do is choose life. Whatever that means :) I have a feeling I'm going to figure it out. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
9:05 am	i don't want it i don't want it want it i don't want your sex FOR NOW. i don't want it i don't want it want it i don't want it TIL WE TAKE OUR VOWS. So, I had a revelation last night at Journey. It's pretty amazing. I'm not called to celibacy... PRAISE JESUS. Is it gross that I'm putting this on my live journal? I don't think so. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 25th, 2005
3:24 pm	"Running aground, then, is not the end of the world. But it helps to make the world a bit less appealing. It may even be God's answer to 'Lead us not into temptation'--the temptation complacently to settle for visible things." - Elisabeth Elliot Isaiah 54 The Future Glory of Zion 1 "Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD. 2 "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. 3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. 4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. 5 For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. 6 The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God. 7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. 8 In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the LORD your Redeemer. 9 "To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. 10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. 11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, [a] your foundations with sapphires. [b] 12 I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones. 13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace. 14 In righteousness you will be established: Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you. 15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you. 16 "See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work. And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc; 17 no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me," declares the LORD. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 16th, 2005
1:00 am	There are times in my life, when I feel... even though it seems that everything is going to crap... that I am right where I need to be. When I look back, at all the different girls I've been, I realize that now, more than ever, I can see the reality of my life so much clearer. I know now, that even when I can't feel God, he's working in my life... even when I don't like him, I love him more than anything else in the world... more than myself if we get right down to it. And as I try to be objective I realize that really... I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY I REALLY REALLY am where I'm supposed to be and that life is so much bigger than I ever thought before... my purpose is so much bigger than I ever thought before. Even if I don't drop out of grad school to move to Africa or stay at Longwood for two more years to become a Chi Alpha missionary. And I'm a little freaked out. Because I knew, when I made the decision to stay at Longwood for another year, that it was what God wanted me to do. And now, I just keep seeing that it really was what he wanted me to do... as if I had sort of doubted it before... or just not expected him to be this big in this place... this same old place with a brand new part of God. So here I am, experiencing these unbelievable things... in Farmville... at Longwood... in 100a. Who would have thought? Audra, Rebecca, and Mia. I see Jesus in Audra, Rebecca, and Mia... every single day... and they make me want to shine SOOOO bright... every single day. They remind me that I am standing on a ROCK. I'm not sure if there is even a word to describe the encouragement they have given me in the last three weeks. The last three weeks have torn me apart. I have lost everything and gained so much more... more than I ever realized I was missing. And God says he's only halfway done. I wish that everyone in the world... I wish that everyone in the WORLD... I wish that EVERYONE in the WORLD could see. I wish I was cool enough to show them. Maybe I will be one day... in Africa, or Farmville, or Honduras, or wherever. I don't really care as long as I never go blind again. Current Mood: sure Current Music: trying - lifehouse (Comment on this)
Monday, September 12th, 2005
8:04 am	Amen Elisabeth Eliot... Amen Title: Enable Thy Servants Author: Elisabeth Elliot Many of our prayers are for a quick and easy solution. God is more glorified in his people when they exhibit his grace under pressure. When Peter and John had been discharged by the rulers, elders, and doctors of the Jewish law with orders not to speak again in the name of Jesus, the Christians prayed about it--"They raised their voices as one man and called upon God." Their prayer was not, "Make these people stop persecuting Thy servant," but, remembering the word of prophecy concerning how the Messiah was to be treated, they asked God only to notice what was happening to his servants and to enable them to speak with boldness (Acts 4:29 NEB). We, too, may bring any difficult situation to our heavenly Father, laying it before his eyes, and asking not for instant escape but for "enablement"--for strength to sustain the burden and do what we ought to do without the fear of man. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
7:51 pm	So basically, God is awesome and bigger than anything I could ever imagine. Sometimes, I feel like my life is falling apart. I know that I'm called to something bigger than this... and I know that because of that I'm going to disappoint my parents. My parents hate me (but not really). My parents think I'm in a cult (really). I have never been so sure that I'm where God wants me to be in my entire life and it is sort of scary and awesome at the same time. I'm in Farmville. I am a tree... no matter what anyone says. Mia bought me a tree and made me cry because the Holy Spirit told her to... God wants us to be friends. Jesus said "let the dead burry the dead." I have left NOTHING behind. Sometimes... most of the time... I just want to be a missionary. Being a missionary is the scariest job I could ever imagine. I want to get married... to a specific person... which is wrong... but sooooo right! Sometimes... most of the time... I just want to be like... HOLYCRAPGODISSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAWESOME! Wow. My life is perfect... even right now. So basically, God is awesome and bigger than anything I could ever imagine. Current Mood: awed Current Music: in christ alone (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
10:48 am	"Illusion" As I Lay Dying How could I ever go back Back to the life Where I lived amongst the dead Who have forgotten how to feel And become slaves to memory And wishful thinking But your love has set me free As you awaken every star That has been sleeping In the constellation of my soul How could I go back to live amongst the dead Those who imprisoned beauty I never want to leave your arms So I wait in hope for your embrace Illusions of what I thought was love Now I have clear sight to see That I have left nothing behind This song was in Sam's away message the other day and it spoke to my soul. I downloaded it and its actually one of those Screamer bands that he and Dan seem to like so much. It sounds really scary, but I still like to listen to it because the lyrics are my life right now. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
7:45 am	"...Let's look at our Father and brighten up. Let's tell Him were approaching His throne in confidence based on Jesus' blood. Open up to Him; smile in His presence, pour out all the stored things before Him and ask Him to renew the attitude of little children in us. Sing and rejoice! Your past is in His Hands; leave it. The present is under His supervision; live it to the fullness in Jesus Christ. Your future is secured in Jesus' blood; do not worry about it. Jesus has promised, "Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." Matthew 28:20" - Maria Hanna, from dailywisdom.gospelcom.net Amen. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 29th, 2005
7:51 am	Elisabeth Elliot is kicking of my school year! Title: Nothing is Lost Author: Elisabeth Elliot Paul was a man who suffered the loss of everything, according to his own claim. Yet any loss he counted pure gain. The key to this transforming of earthly losses into heavenly gains is love. What do we love? If our hearts are set on people and possessions and position, the loss of those will indeed be irreparable. To the man or woman whose heart is set on Christ no loss on earth can be irreparable. It may shock us for the moment. We may feel hurt, outraged, desolate, helpless. That is our humanity. But the Lord can show us the "long view," the incalculable gain in spiritual and eternal terms, if we love Him above all. Everything that belongs to us belongs also to Him. Everything that belongs to Him belongs also to us. What, then, can we finally lose? If we lose not Christ Himself, we have finally lost nothing, for He is our treasure and He has our hearts. **So, when I was first reading this devotion and I read the part about "the key to this transforming of earthly losses into heavenly gains is love" I was like, DUH... we have to love the people that hurt us, or love the people that annoy us, or love the people that whatever. But then, as I kept reading I realized that it's not really about loving the people that hurt us, but loving Christ enough for them. Does that make sense? Example: there is this one person who REALLY REALLY bothers me... and it makes me feel like a bad person because I'm like, "I need to LOVE this person, what's wrong with me?" But really, I just need to focus on how much I love the Lord and my love for him will be enough for me to love the person who makes me feel bad. I guess this is kind of an "I technically already knew that" moment, but sometimes I need reminders and Elisabeth likes to give them to me. She's my homegirl. First day of grad school (if you don't count summer school)... I think I just threw up a little in my mouth :) Current Mood: nervous (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 20th, 2005
10:44 pm	GRACIOUS So, my Aunt Tammy and cousin Nikki came up from North Carolina for a visit this weekend and it made me realize how Oklahoma I really am. I mean, I'm not kidding, everytime I get around my dad's family I turn into SUCH A REDNECK. I get this twangy accent and lose ALL my grammar skills. It doesn't make sense really, but I start saying things like "it aint make much diff-ernce" and "it don't much matter" and "she done told him once." I don't even know where it comes from, but it happens everytime. My dad is much worse than me... probably because he had a real southern accent at one time, but this weekend, sometimes when I'd order a sweet tea I swear I sounded like I just stepped off the Oklahoma boat. It's probably gonna take me at least a day to recover from this one because YAINT NEVER HEARD A SOUTHERN ACCENT TIL YOO HEARD MA FAMILY TAWLK. Meanwhile, I finally got the skinny (yeah, I'm saying skinny now) on the night my grandma shot my Aunt's husband. I had always heard that he had gotten drunk and was harassing my Aunt Nancy who was staying at my Grandma's and that Steve was throwing beer bottles and cussing all over the place so my Grandma told him if he didn't leave she was going to shoot him and he didn't leave so she shot him. Turns out, good old Steve had beat my Aunt Nancy up real bad... REAL BAD (like she couldn't move for two days) and when she moved back into my grandma's house with my two cousins Steve followed her around. One night she was coming home from buying diapers and he came up to the house with... wait for it... wait for it... a butcher's knife. Grandma got the gun and told him to leave, but he pushed her down to get into the door and when she spun around she shot him in the leg. Steve took off in his truck and the police found him a few miles up, swerved off the road and passed out because he'd lost so much blood... I think Grandma hit and artery or something because he almost died. To make the story EVEN BETTER, Steve was the deputy sherriff the next town over so he didn't get into any kind of trouble. Grandma had to go to court, but (and I love this part) the judge was Papa Bud's poker buddy so he just shook his finger at her and told my grandpa "Bud, you need to teach that woman to shoot a gun." Grandma's defense was that she didn't mean to shoot him, but just between you and me... I think she knew exactly what she was doing. Grandma once shot the head off of a rattle snake. And, she died twice before she actually died. Once when she was 11 and her basement flooded (she fell in it and drowned) and another time when she was giving birth to my Aunt Vicki. The woman was pretty much the bomb and there has always been this mystery about her to me... like she was magic or something... I wish I had known her a little better before she died. But now, I have these stories and one day they're going to make me FAMOUS. Current Mood: simple (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
10:49 pm	I forgot to mention that my prom date from my senior year of high school left me a birthday message on facebook... it MADE my birthday! Current Mood: hott (2 Comments |Comment on this)